The Monster Within And The Angel Within

“Even in the most treacherous of times, some men prove to be more evil than other men. Cruelty pulses through their hearts and veins, bringing them to life and awakening their senses. And so they suffer, the same exhilaration when torturing their fellow man that most men feel when making love. They hold to a punishing and powerful God, one of their own invention and with warped religious fervor create themselves in the vision of this illusion.”
Mario Puzo – The Family

Every person alive has an inner monster, as well as an inner angel. It is just a question of which is more dominant that defines the personality of this person. This is not something that comes from nature as much as an acquired trait, one that is developed over time from childhood. It is not a question of personality as in being passive, aggressive, or pacifist, etc. It is more of a hidden side to a person that the person himself did not know existed as it never emerged. Some people would argue and deny the existence of these two sides, the monster side and the angel side only because they have never seen it, or just hate to admit it.

As we grow from the childhood stages to the adulthood, we learn to tame the sides, but one will always be dominant. To our misfortune, society rules that the angel side has to preside and dominate, sometimes pressing the monster inside to the greatest extent possible. What society denies is that this monster is still there, and it is just locked up. Pressure to keep it inside will feed it to become more ferocious, yet dormant. Our personal practice of patience and self-control will just keep it dormant without aggravating it.

But as per the quote mentioned above, humans fall into treacherous times, testing our patience, our control, and everything that holds this monster within until one day the monster will break out. The chains that we have created can no longer hold this powerful monster that we have fed for so long and held back.

But what does this monster do???

It will furiously attack the first parameter that holds it, namely our mind. Attacks our sense, our reason, our rationality, and ruin them, rendering them idle and useless. Then the monster will need to feed, and it will feed on our deepest and most powerful emotions, and leave way for our insecurities (another monster) to grow. Our poor minds in an attempt to defend themselves will be consumed, and we lose all that makes the angel thrive, the emotions. Our first instinctive option is to release this monster to the outside, the other option is try and hold it back, fight it, and control it.

The only thing that this monster does is destroy everything that the angel built in the past under the rule of society. All civility, kindness, care, or other works are shredded and devastated. And this cycle will continue until the monster has consumed everything it could, destroyed whatever was built, and go back to sleep, only to be suppressed again by the all-so-dominant angel, supported by the surroundings.

Some people have the tendency to hold on to the monster, and become self-destructive to them, fighting everything within. An internal war where the angel will win the battle, only to lose the war as the monster feeds, and the angel rebuilds. The result is a depressing state of chaos and mayhem inside the person, and the angel is finally exhausted.

On the other hand, the monster may break out, no longer within, and attacks the first thing it sees. The people around us are then bit by the monster with so much cruelty displayed in so many different manners. Words, actions, or a combination of both will hurt everyone around us, until again, the monster sleeps, but is so exhausted that it will rarely wake up again soon. The result is that everyone around us is so hurt beyond the acceptable and beyond the angel's immediate power to heal, the angel will only come back to weep, cry, and sob over what was lost and ruined (also known as conscience).

Where do we go from here?

It is important to acknowledge the existence of the monster within each and every one of us. This monster is ME, YOU, and EVERYONE. Learning how to deal with and control this monster is very important. The best defense is building up our lines of defense. One is patience, and it goes the longest way before the monster is released. I have found good friends are a great help, to absorb the food that the monster feeds on.

This and only this can ensure that the angel will prevail.